


Just a Sip

by ruimaita



Category: THE iDOLM@STER
Genre: Angst, Anime: The iDOLM@STER SideM, Established Relationship, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, female!p, slight mention of kaoru's past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 23:47:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21527761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruimaita/pseuds/ruimaita
Summary: In the midst of the bitter cold, Kaoru and the Producer share a warm drink together.
Relationships: Producer/Sakuraba Kaoru
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Just a Sip

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a dear friend of mine! ^^ There isn't much to say.
> 
> Knowing that Kaoru is a character who makes my friend very happy brings me joy as well!
> 
> I'm still a bit rusty with writing, but I hope it turned out alright. 
> 
> Enjoy!

The producer stared outside her window through the frost, as crystals danced softly to the ground, covering the world in an impenetrable sheet of white. She sighed softly to herself as she flips through her agenda, filled with post-it notes and pen marks. It seemed like almost everything was complete, the early night darkness settling in as winter inevitably marched onwards. She adjusts her sitting position and puts her hand on the glass, rubbing the icy surface of the window with her hand. The producer feels a slight shiver as she breathes onto the window pane, leaving a blotch of mist.

She stares wistfully at the work in front of her, freshly developed photos and idol profiles laying across her desk. Glancing at the idols of 315 Productions, she pauses upon leafing through the data of one particular idol. _Kaoru Sakuraba_ , his cursive striking against the crisp white sheet. Her hands tremble for a moment before she catches herself, hastily putting down the paper. The producer shouldn’t be mixing the dangerous concoction of romance and business like this, yet when Kaoru holds her hand so tenderly and her waist even closer, as he embraced her, every word that fell from his lips was enough to feel like an oasis.

The producer recalls when she would fall asleep at her desk during the late nights, only to wake up enveloped by the warmth of a plush blanket.

“Make sure to take care of yourself,” Kaoru scolded, in a serious, yet slightly concerned tone.

When Kaoru left the room, the producer hugged the blanket even tighter. The way Kaoru dedicated himself to his profession as an admired idol and only recently as her romantic partner was a thought in the recesses of her mind that she often held until the sun peered through the curtains.

_Why her?_

Once again, she placed her hand on the window pane, this time, pressing the flat of her palm completely against the glass.

So delicate, so beautiful, yet so cold.

* * *

Hearing the tiny ping of her cellphone, she glanced at the caller ID. Kaoru. He’s finished with practice. Of course, when the idols had to contact the producer, they usually sent an email. Kaoru was the only one who texted her personal number. The producer gently twirled the strand of her hair that was not neatly tied in her bun as she opened the message.

_Good evening, I hope you’re well. I am finished with my tasks for today. Would you like to meet in your office?_

A slight grin unintentionally spread across the producers face as she read his message. Curt, yet well-intentioned as always, she thought to herself. She typed a reply and hit send, soon arriving at her precious ending of a tedious day. A few moments later, she heard a knock on the door. The producer let Kaoru in, realizing that he already had her hand-knit scarf wrapped around his neck.

She fell into a routine with Kaoru. The two would walk out of the office, only making sure hold hands if the other idols have already left. To her, grand romantic gestures paled in comparison to the way Kaoru’s eyes would shift sideways as he made a mental note to remind the producer to pack everything, or the way he would comb his hand through his jet-black bangs to hide the way the sides of his eyes crinkled when he smiled at her.

The producer had been there to comfort him during nights where he would wake up in tears, paralyzed from frequent nightmares. She would comfort him through the phone, whispering words of reassurance and kindness until he fell back asleep. She wasn’t sure how she became the one to carry him through endless nights of torment, where his aloof exterior crumbled like dust.

Sometimes, Kaoru could still hear the dreaded beep of the flat electrocardiogram as his blood froze within his own body, his chest aching with pain. His vision rendered blurry with tears as he watched his parents weep in irreparable despair, loosening the grip on his sister’s hand. They knew. Kaoru would never forget how in the last few months before her death, she became the shell of the girl whose melodies sweetly resounded in his ears, now silent. Motionless. He held her close to him always, yet her body lying on the hospital bed was an image that no clutching of his beloved pendant could erase.

_You could’ve done something._

_You could’ve changed this._

Kaoru never thought that he would ask the producer for such a troublesome request.

Yet, her voice was all he needed when he felt like he was on the edge. During those moments, he felt like he had something to hope for. 

For the producer, it always took every inch of willpower to be the one to hang up, as all she could hear was the blood rushing through her head. She knew that the distance between them was not only through the phone line, but also between a producer and an idol. Over time, these soothing words blossomed into a tumbling confession of romantic love. The producer found herself head over heels for the ex-surgeon who had her heart in his hands. He ended up being the one to comfort her that night, his deep voice replying with the words that would seal the fate of reciprocated affection.

* * *

Kaoru enveloped her hand in his and gently squeezed her hand. Compared to the window pane from earlier, the producer felt every white-hot spark as he stroked her palm with his thumb, definitely not the intimate gesture an idol should, or would, be showing his producer. The producer wordlessly walked with Kaoru through the doors of the office, before sighing in relief into his coat jacket as they were both outdoors. The other idols have all made their separate ways, _safely_ , the producer hopes, and now it was just the two of them. Their silhouettes made shadows on the snow. Kaoru and the producer planned to have dinner after work, usually at a small restaurant that was open during late weeknights. A blush crept on her face as she thought of having dinner with him at her house- after all, they haven’t been together for long. They haven’t even gotten too intimate yet.

The producer chatted with Kaoru for a bit, talking about work, idol training, and the blizzard ahead. Kaoru’s normally tense face softened up when she was with her, yet she realized the way his eyebrows crinkled as he discussed Teru and Tsubasa’s recent antics. Her chest swells with pride as she recalls the progress that he has made with his unit members. _I’m glad you became an idol_ , she thought to herself. Kaoru’s words melted like fresh snow as she laughed along, talking about everything and nothing at once. With Kaoru, everything felt so natural.

Before Kaoru and the producer arrived at the restaurant, Kaoru stopped in front of a vending machine that was selling warm drinks.

“Producer, I think it would be a well-advised to purchase a drink in this weather. Do you have any suggestions?”

Her heart would swell every time her would ask her about small things like these, leaving things up to her discretion. Even before they involved, Kaoru would dote on her health and the burden of the job, and she would reassure him to take care of himself more. It wasn’t until later until she realized that Kaoru was showing, in his own special, way that he truly cared. The producer nodded with excitement, looking through the options as the illuminated buttons of the vending machine flashed in front of her.

 _Hot chocolate?_ Too sweet for Kaoru’s taste (and health).

 _Green tea?_ Kaoru already has enough caffeine.

Pondering over the appealing options for a moment, she decided on a light latte.

Kaoru glanced with curiosity as she purchased the drink with her non-gloved hand and passed the latte to him. The drink heated up her hands, blurring the line between their misty breaths and trembling fingers. This warmth of tangled legs in sheets and lovers glances lasted briefly for a moment in her mind as she watched Kaoru open the drink and pause before taking a sip.

“Producer?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

Those two words was all the producer needed to hear to feel at ease, as Kaoru wasn’t the type to say affectionate things in public.

Kaoru took a sip of the latte, closing his blue eyes as he enjoyed the bitter, yet slightly sweet aftertaste. His glasses reflected the whiteness illuminating the reflection of the lens. The piping hot liquid descended into his throat as he felt the warmth envelop him. The producer watched him drink the latte, a moments time feeling like a minute as she smiled at him.

“How does it taste?”

“Would you like to have a sip, Producer?”

“Ah, Kaoru! It’s fine, it’s for you after all-“

“Please, Producer. Just a sip.”

Before she could agree wholeheartedly, Kaoru tipped the edge of the can against her soft lips, into her tongue. It did not feel intrusive, or uncomfortable. Kaoru was gentle as he let her have a sip, the cold metal of the tab against her nose as she sampled the latte. She did not taste bitterness, or sweetness, or think about the taste of drink. The only thing on her mind was the imprint of Kaoru’s lips. The flavor of the latte completely diminished on her tongue. All the producer wanted to feel Kaoru’s lips pressed against hers.

Kaoru’s eyes filled with affection and tenderness as he removed the drink from the producer’s lips, now tinged with latte, dangerously mixed with the lip gloss she had applied earlier. He felt the same way whenever he was on his bed, heart racing when he dialed her number during the night. He felt the same way when he watched her adjust her bun as she tucked the pencil behind her ear, wanting to kiss the nape of her neck. Kaoru’s fingers gently touched the producer’s chin as he looked at her. The producer’s startled, yet dazed eyes glanced back at him.

All this time, Kaoru did not think he would be able to find someone who would feel the same way.

The two of them stood for a moment, Kaoru now tipping the producer’s chin upwards, his long and thin fingers brushing against her cheek. All Kaoru could focus on was her.

_Her._

“Producer, may I kiss you?”

The producer’s heart flutters in her chest. This-this is what the producer loves so much about Kaoru. Underneath the cold and stoic façade, Kaoru displays his vulnerabilities. He’s sincere, determined, uncertain at times, yet so, so kind in his own way. The Producer doesn’t get many glimpses of it, but she must have seen enough to make her fall for him. She is blushing completely to her ears, but she mouths the words yes.

One hand curves around the back of Kaoru’s neck to draw him closer. Kaoru sees the producer’s eyes flutter closed right before their lips press together firmly. It’s an awkward kiss, eager and desperate, but Kaoru feels himself melting with every touch. Kaoru didn’t realize how much he needed this, the producer and him pressed against each other. They’re anchored to each other in this moment. The way that the producer imagined the first kiss with Kaoru was slow and gentle, the way first kisses usually are, but the slow and gentle façade melted as quickly as Kaoru held her tighter. They kissed hungry, and passionately, like they’ve both been waiting for this for so long they can’t hold back. The producer savors the way Kaoru sinks deeper into the producer’s face, up to the fear that he would never be able to truly, fully, confide in someone.

They finally pull back from the prolonged kiss, leaving behind a trail of saliva. Kaoru was the first one to speak as the producer gently panted, her face illuminated by the streetlights, the taste of the latte long forgotten between them.

“I love you.”

And for once, as Kaoru walked through the snowy city, he didn't mind the cold.


End file.
